Douglas Adams
"Isnīt it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe
that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"
"I refuse to prove that I exist" says God, "for proof denies faith,
and without faith, I am nothing."
"Oh," says man, "but the Babel Fish is a dead give-away, isnīt
it? It proves You exist, and so therefore You donīt. Q.E.D."
"Oh, I hadnīt thought of that." says God, who promptly vanishes in a
puff of logic.
[Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]
Scott Adams
"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational
things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs.
This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion."'
Todd Adamson
Eat a big plate of jambalya, head off to the can, and meditate on this,
"defecating is more productive than praying."
The Advocate Magazine
"A spokesman for the Lyon Group, producers of Barney and Friends, denied
that Barney is an instrument of Satan."
Woody Allen
"I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being
brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles."
[Rolling Stone Magazine, 1987]
Robert S. Alley
"We face the nineties with a Court that relegates First Amendment rights to
the level of any law, a Justice Department quite willing to establish first-
and second-class citizenship determined by religious belief....a Christian
arrogance and exclusivism reminiscent of earlier centuries of religious
persecution." [Christian Exclusivism and Second-Class Citizenship]
American Foundation for AIDS Research
"Prayer won't cure AIDS. Research will."
This ad was dropped due to the complaints of the religious. I guess
it's offensive to cure AIDS
Yigal Amir, assassin of Yitzak Rabin,
Israeli Prime Minister
"I acted alone on God's orders."
Aristotle
"Men create gods after their own image, not only with regard to their form
but with regard to their mode of life." [2000 Years of Disbelief,
Famous People with the Courage to Doubt]
"A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion.
Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they
consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily
move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side."
[Politics]
Alfred Jules Ayers
"Theism is so confused and the sentences in which īGodī appears so
incoherent and so incapable of verifiability or falsifiability that to speak
of belief or unbelief, faith or unfaith, is logically impossible."
Jim Bakker
"It's not listed in the Bible, but my spiritual gift, my specific calling
from God, is to be a television talk-show host."
Tammy Faye Bakker
"I wake up every morning and I wish I were dead, and so does Jim."
"You can educate yourself right out of a relationship with God."
"I take Him shopping with me. I say, 'OK, Jesus, help me find a
bargain.'"
Cardinal Bellarmino (from the trial of
Galileo)
"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to
claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
"To affirm that the Sun ... is at the centre of the universe and only
rotates on its axis without going from east to west, is a very dangerous
attitude and one calculated not only to arouse all Scholastic philosophers
and theologians but also to injure our holy faith by contradicting the
Scriptures"
Sam Brannan
"You go back and tell Brigham Young that I'll give up the Lord's money when
he sends me a receipt signed by the Lord, and no sooner."
David Brooks
"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the
known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy."
Archie Bunker (Played by Carrol O'Conner)
"It's called faith. Faith is believing something that no one in his
right mind would believe."
John Burroughs
"Science has done more for the development of western civilization in one
hundred years than Christianity did in eighteen hundred years."
"Man is, and always has been, a maker of gods. It has been the most serious
and significant occupation of his sojourn in the world."
"When I look up into the starry heavens at night and reflect upon what it is
I really see there, I am constrained to say, īthere is no godī."
"Science makes no claim to infallibility; it leaves that claim to be made by
theologians."
Herb Caen
"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain
the second time around."
John Calvin
"We may rest assured that God would never have suffered any infants to be
slain except those who were already
damned and predestined for eternal death."
Rev. Alexander Campbell
"There is not one verse in the Bible inhibiting slavery, but many
regulating it. It is not then, we conclude, immoral."
Thomas Carlyle
"If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even
crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to
say, and make fun of it."
"Just in the ratio knowledge increases, faith decreases."
"If I had my way, the world would hear a pretty stern command -- Exit
Christ."
Andrew Carnegie
"I don't believe in God. My god is patriotism. Teach
a man to be a good citizen and you have solved the problem of life."
Charlie Chaplin
"By simple common sense I don't believe in God, in none."
Derek W. Clayton
"If only more Christians read their bibles there'd be less
Christians."
Bill Clinton
"The Bible is the authoritative Word of God and contains all
truth."
Andrei Codrescu
"The evaporation of 4 million [people] who believe in this crap
[the rapture] would leave the world a better place."
"There is no īComplete Idiots Guide to Creationism,ī but perhaps one is not
needed."
Chapman Cohen
"Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of
science or a dose of common sense."
"Who knows the origin of religion? Certainly not the one who believes in it.
Understanding and belief are quite antagonistic. The man who understands
religion does not believe in it, the man who believes in it does not
understand it."
Morris Cohen
"If religion cannot restrain evil, it cannot claim effective
power for good."
