An Essay By Your Friendly Webmaster



Soliciting for the Lord

I hate telemarketers. Just as much as I hate door to door salesmen. I'm trying to come up with a good sign for my front door... maybe Solicitors will not be tolerated, or maybe Solicitors will be shot on site. I know they still need work. My point is that anyone who wants to call me during dinner, knock on my door during Spongebob Squarepants (or some other highly educational show), or bombard my mail box (e-mail or snail mail) with attempts to sell me their product or their beliefs are lower than the dog crap on the bottom of my shoe.

It drives me nutty when I have to get up and answer the door to have some Christian group hand me pamphlets, Bibles, books, etc. Typically I tell them that I have already considered their faith and am happy with my current beliefs. They tend to continue preaching after I say that, and if they do I tell them that God just told me to slam my door in their face, then I obey the command. They tend to not only leave, but take your name off of the preaching list.

Maybe I'm crazy, but I refuse to buy anything from a solicitor... heck if they were selling dollar bills for a nickel I still wouldn't buy them. I am a firm believer that if I need something, I'll go out and get it. If I can't get it at the store, there's probably a reason why. Usually it's because the store knows that it's crap, and doesn't want their name attached to it. This goes for God too... if I wanted God, I'd go to church.

Still I get to hear people tell me about God, I get Jack Chick tracts, I get e-mails forwarded to me about blessing. Why is this? Who doesn't already know about Christianity? Who hasn't heard of the Bible, church, or God? So why do people feel the need to "introduce" me to their beliefs, do they really think I've spent the last 25 years in a sealed cave with no way to gain information from the outside world? I didn't but I'm sure someone sealed in a cave somewhere and the only things they have is a pet rock, a stick, and a Christian tract asking if he has been saved.


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